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  • jonty_11
    08-02 12:07 PM
    Possibly.

    However; there are many things that uscis asks for that they are hinging on the grayest of gray areas to get at other things.

    Examples:

    You don't need to submit tax returns with 485. However, they ask in RFE sometimes. Why do they do that?

    USCIS asks for photos of office in h-1b rfe's. There is nothing in the law/regulations stating they are supposed to ask for it.

    There is many examples where uscis/dos ask for things that are not required in the law/regulations. However; a lot of these types of evidence they ask for is for "intent", looking for inconsistencies, trying to look at the resonability of information...

    Long back when I used to just read memos/laws; it looked pretty straightforward. However; uscis uses the grayest of gray areas to their benefit, not your's.

    Department of state for every visa except h and L assume by default that a person has intention of immigrating. The onus is on us to show that we are not going to do that. Unfortunately, uscis is turning the same way in adjudicating of benefits. They seem to think that everyone is playing with the system and they in turn are becoming very difficult.
    I agree...with UN..however ...their laggardness in turn is also playing with the system...unfortunately...there is no one to take them to task...
    Only when they managed something like July VB fiasco ...did it raise eyebrows.





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  • msp1976
    04-08 09:00 AM
    Would you???
    of course not....
    The provision defeats the purpose of whole whistle blower clause...





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  • Marphad
    12-18 01:45 PM
    Sign of very rare good pakistani journalism:

    http://www.dawn.net/wps/wcm/connect/Dawn%20Content%20Library/dawn/news/pakistan/dont-let-this-sickness-spread-any-further--qs

    Worth reading.





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  • unitednations
    03-24 07:25 PM
    Its rather ironic that system created for staffing companies was misused so rampantly that they are the ones bearing the brunt of this onslaught.

    So according to your experience are they are always denying applications even when the employee is able to furnish a contract with the end client ? This is indeed surprising and alarming. I am just worried this can spill in to everything that USCIS adjudicates.
    on the other hand how do you put an end to this misuse ?

    Should'nt they establish a set of guidelines for the employers and employees? So both are aware what they are up against. Looks like its pretty arbritary right now and USCIS indeed playing the "hand of god"

    There are two service centers that process h-1b's. California and vermont.

    Vermont was very, very easy in the past. Now; they want contract and purchase order with end client. If somehow you can get it then they want detailed duties to see if job requires a degree. it is difficult to get a purchase order/letter from end client let alone a detailed job description/duty. If you can't get one and they ask in an rfe; they are denying it.

    If you can get one; they are stating duties aren't specialized enough to determine job requires a degree OR they think the company is going to further outsource the candidate.

    California is along similar lines but they only deny if they think the contract/purchase order is from the middle man.

    Big problem is verrmont changed their expectations midstream. California has been pretty consistent the last few years and they haven't changed much in how they look at h-1b's.



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  • sledge_hammer
    06-26 04:06 PM
    Have you accounted for the increase in rent (not rent controlled) every year? Mortgage on the other hand is fixed for 30 years!



    If you buy - and take a mortgate - you end up losing (the same way you "lose" your rent)
    1. Interest you pay
    2. Property taxes you will pay forever.
    3. Maintenance you will pay forever.

    On the other hand - if you rent and,
    A. IF you pay less in rent than #1 + #2 + #3,
    B. IF you invest the remainder plus your mortgage principal amount in some other investment vehicle with superior investment returns than real estate.
    .... Then you will come out ahead renting.

    The tipping point is whether your rent equals interest + property taxes + maintenance. Based on which side is higher - either renting or buying could be good for you. I don't think there is a clear cut answer. This does not take into account the flexibility associated with renting - which is important for non-GC holders. If you assign a non-zero dollar value of $X with that flexibility, then your rent needs to be interest + tax + maintanance + $X to get to the tipping point. On the other hand, if you are not forced to save (in the form of mortgage principal payment every month) - you may just spend that money instead of investing that. If you assign a dollar value of $Y with that (probability multiplied by actual dollar value) - then the tipping point is at
    $rent = $interest + $tax + $maintenance + $X(dollar value for flexibility) - $Y(dollar value for probability of spending money instead of saving).

    Now as soon as you plug in the numbers in this equation - it will give you your tipping point and will tell you whether it is right for you to rent or to buy.

    Think about it. It is not as clear cut as you think it is. :-) Based on your earlier posts - you got an absolutely faboulous deal on your house (maybe because of your timing) and the tipping point equation would probably highly favor buying in your case. For many other (specially for those without a GC) - it may not be so clear cut.





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  • unseenguy
    06-24 11:51 PM
    Why are be debating 3 - 4 years rent vs own? As the subject indicates "long" term prospects of buying a home..we of all the ppl should know the meaning of the word "long" based on our "long" wait for PD (which I think should be renamed to retrogress date because I see nothing priority about it)..the point being lets debate 10 years rent vs own..as against 3-4...I think over a 10 year timeline the buyers would come out ahead of the renters..maybe not in CA but in other states that's quite likely..

    coz, next 3-4 years make it special due to immigration status and special status of the economy and you can plan for 5-7 years but whats going to happen after that is beyond anyone.



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  • abcdgc
    12-27 01:22 AM
    Also, people like Hamid Gul and Kaayani have been directly involved in direct aid to terrorists organizations and Taliban in Pakistan & Afganistan. These are the worst of your kind, the difference is, Kaayani has a uniform to show. But a terrorist is a terrorist, with or without a uniform. He and ISI is directly responsible for Bombay attacks. You prove that Kaayani is not responsible. While you collect the evidence of Kaayani's innocence, we are ready to respond to the war you started.





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  • GCBatman
    01-07 09:01 AM
    Hey Refugee_New, why the hell you gave me red ("what other site - refugee!").
    Go ahead & post it on the some news websites THAT ARE NOT RELATED WITH EB ISSUES. THIS FORM IS ONLY FOR EMPLOYMENT BASED IMMIGRATION RELATED ISSUES PERIOD & END OF DISCUSSION.
    As I already said it is very sad to hear innocent kids got killed. Opening a thread here & giving your baseless comments will not going to help the ppl suffering over there so why not you go over there and help them out by fighting with Israeli forces instead of whining here.

    It is very sad but please post it on the relevant site.



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  • Macaca
    12-30 06:53 PM
    Oppression born of fear
    There is fear at the heart of the Chinese and Russian systems. (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/telegraph-view/8229075/Oppression-born-of-fear.html)
    Daily Telegraph Editorial

    An over-mighty state crushes those whom it deems its opponents. Yet in doing so it exposes its weakness. Take the cases of Liu Xiaobo, who yesterday marked his 55th birthday in prison in China, and Mikhail Khodorkovsky, currently on trial in Russia. The reaction of the Chinese government earlier in the year to the award of the Nobel Peace Prize to Mr Liu was hysterical. Because the dissident and his family were not permitted to attend the ceremony, the prize was placed on an empty chair, a potent symbol of the oppressive nature of the Communist Party; in short, a diplomatic disaster.

    The relentless pursuit of Mr Khodorkovsky has likewise further tarnished Russia's image. The former head of the oil company Yukos is likely to be sentenced to a six-year term this week for embezzlement and money-laundering, shortly before he completes an earlier, eight-year sentence for tax evasion. The charge that he stole �16.3 billion of oil revenues between 1998 and 2003 is absurd. And the political nature of the case has been made crystal clear by Vladimir Putin, the prime minister, who said earlier this month that "a thief must sit in jail". Mr Khodorkovsky's cardinal sin, in Mr Putin's eyes, is to have provided funding to opposition parties. His second sentence will mean he will be out of the way well beyond the presidential election scheduled for March 2012.

    These two men are being hounded because they challenge the status quo, which in China is the political monopoly of the Communist Party, and in Russia, bureaucratic cronyism. In both countries, those who have grown rich and powerful under such conditions want to keep things as they are. Yet the very intensity of the persecution reveals a fear at the heart of each system that its authority is more fragile than it might appear. Does the emperor have any clothes?


    Ivory Coast election crisis: A roadmap for African political reform (http://www.csmonitor.com/Commentary/Global-Viewpoint/2010/1230/Ivory-Coast-election-crisis-A-roadmap-for-African-political-reform) By Frazer & Berggruen | CSM





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  • desi3933
    08-06 12:43 PM
    Don't worry there is no solid basis for the lawsuit. Only lawsuit that can be filled , if at all, is BS+5 , which is USCIS ineterpretation of Advance degree equivalent.
    Source: A reputed lawyer known to us all on this forum.
    Mode of consultation: E-mail

    Next course of action: Unknown. But folks with US Masters or higher please PM me...

    Here is the relevant portion from 8 C.P.R. � 204.5(k)(2). This is the reason, in my opinion, why any lawsuit against BS+5 has not much merit value.

    If you would like to read about related case, refer to this pdf
    http://www.uscis.gov/err/B5%20-%20Members%20of%20the%20Professions%20holding%20Ad vanced%20Degrees%20or%20Aliens%20of%20Exceptional% 20Ability/Decisions_Issued_in_2005/NOV152005_02B5203.pdf

    ============================================
    Sec. 204.5 Petitions for employment-based immigrants.

    (k) Aliens who are members of the professions holding advanced degrees or aliens of exceptional ability.

    (1) Any United States employer may file a petition on Form I-140 for classification of an alien under section 203(b)(2) of the Act as an alien who is a member of the professions holding an advanced degree or an alien of exceptional ability in the sciences, arts, or business. If an alien is claiming exceptional ability in the sciences, arts, or business and is seeking an exemption from the requirement of a job offer in the United States pursuant to section 203(b)(2)(B) of the Act, then the alien, or anyone in the alien's behalf, may be the petitioner.

    (2) Definitions. As used in this section:

    Advanced degree

    means any United States academic or professional degree or a foreign equivalent degree above that of baccalaureate. A United States baccalaureate degree or a foreign equivalent degree followed by at least five years of progressive experience in the specialty shall be considered the equivalent of a master's degree. If a doctoral degree is customarily required by the specialty, the alien must have a United States doctorate or a foreign equivalent degree.

    ======================================



    ____________________________
    US Permanent Resident since 2002



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  • Macaca
    12-30 06:26 PM
    Select Readings


    Alessandrini, Michele and Tullio Buccellato (2008), �China, India and Russia: Economic reforms, structural change and regional disparities,� Economics Working Paper No.97, December 2008, London: Centre for the Study of Economic and Social Change in Europe, 33 pp.
    Hoffmann, Steven A (1990), India and the China Crisis, Berkeley: University of California Press, 324 pp.
    Malone, David M. and Rohan Mukherjee (2010), �India and China: Conflict and
    Cooperation,� Survival, vol.52: 1, pp. 137-158.
    Bajpaee, Chietigj (2007),�The Panda and the Peacock,� China Security, vol. 3 no. 4 Autumn 2007, pp. 103 � 123.

    Asian Development Bank (2010), Key Indicators for Asia and the Pacific 2010, �The Rise of Asia�s Middle Class,� 41st Edition, 2010, Philippines: Asian Development Bank, August 2010, 283 pp.
    Pew Global Attitudes Project (2010) (http:/ /pewglobal.org/files/2010/10/Pew-Global-Attitudes-India-Report-FINAL-October-20- 2010.pdf), Indians See Threat From Pakistan, Extremist Groups, Released: Wednesday, October 20, 2010; Accessed online 12 December 2010
    The Chinese Central Government�s Official Web Portal (http://www.gov.cn/english/leaders/wenjiabao.htm); Accessed online 16-20 December 2010

    �Chinese premier calls for enhanced cooperation, trade with India (http:// www.gov.cn/english/2010-12/16/content_1766862.htm)�

    �China-India friendship,� Chinese premier tells teenagers in India with calligraphy (http://www.gov.cn/english/2010-12/16/content_1766822.htm)�
    Ministry of External Affairs (http://www.mea.gov.in/)

    Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the People�s Republic of China (http://www.mfa.gov.cn/eng/)

    �We�ll be able to reach strategic consensus, says Wen (http:// www.hindustantimes.com/specials/coverage/jiabaovisit/We-ll-be-able-to-reachstrategic-consensus-says-Wen/newdelhi/SP-Article10-639024.aspx),� Hindustan Times
    �Prime Minister and Wen to talk trade, stir sticky issues (http://www.hindustantimes.com/Prime-Minister-andWen-to-talk-trade-stir-sticky-issues/Article1-639018.aspx),� Hindustan Times

    �India, China developing relationship of substance: Indian ambassador (http:// news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/china/2010-12/13/c_13646832.htm),� Xinhua News

    �Jiabao�s visit to focus on strengthening Indo-China trade (http:// www.moneycontrol.com/news/cnbc-tv18-comments/jiabaos-visit-tofocusstrengthening-indo-china-trade_505188.html),� CNBC
    �Has Chinese premier�s visit strengthened India-China bonds? (http:// www.moneycontrol.com/news/current-affairs/has-chinese-premiers-visitstrengthened-india-china-bonds_505516.html),� CNBC
    �China-India ties fragile, need special care: Chinese envoy (http:// timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/China-India-ties-fragile-need-special-careChinese-envoy-/articleshow/7092210.cms),� The Times of India
    �RCom to raise $1.9 bn from China bank (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/ tech/news/telecom/RCom-to-raise-19-bn-from-China-bank/articleshow/ 7106651.cms),� The Times of India
    �India, China cement ties with 49 pacts (http://financialexpress.com/news/indiachina-cement-ties-with-49-pacts/725349/2),� Financial Express
    �China�s domestic demand push boon for Indian exporters (http:// www.financialexpress.com/news/chinas-domestic-demand-push-boon-forindian-exporters/724771/2),� Financial Express
    �Indian drug firms look to scale the Great Wall (http:// www.financialexpress.com/news/indian-drug-firms-look-to-scale-the-greatwall/724785/),� Financial Express
    �Pact on financial services likely to open doors for Chinese banks (http:// www.financialexpress.com/news/pact-on-financial-services-likely-to-open-doorsfor-chinese-banks/724780/),� Financial Express
    �India, China May Sign Banking Accord During Wen Jiabao�s Visit (http:// www.bloomberg.com/news/2010-12-13/india-china-may-sign-banking-accord-during-wen-visit-easing-icbc-s-entry.html),� Bloomberg
    �Shanghai Halts Fixed-Asset Lending through Year End (http://online.wsj.com/ article/SB10001424052748703929404576022550653865350.html), � The Wall Street Journal
    �PBOC Officials: Interest Rate Hike Could Hamper Economic Soft Landing (http:/ /online.wsj.com/article/BT-CO-20101220-702333.html),� The Wall Street Journal
    �Foreign Ministers should look into pending issues: Wen (http:// www.thehindu.com/news/national/article956137.ece),�
    �Officials should sort out stapled visa issue: Wen (http://www.thehindu.com/ news/national/article956256.ece),� The Hindu
    �Muslim women lead protests in restive west China (http:// www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31853732/ns/world_news-asia-pacific/),� MSNBC
    �China�s Galloping Inflation (http://blogs.forbes.com/ gordonchang/2010/12/12/chinas-galloping-inflation/),� Gordon G. Chang | Forbes,
    �Business interests further Sino-Indian ties (http://opinion.globaltimes.cn/ foreign-view/2010-12/603015.html),� GlobalTimes

    �Al Qaeda urges Uighur jihad in China. So what? (http://www.csmonitor.com/ World/Global-News/2009/1008/al-qaeda-urges-uighur-jihad-in-china-so-what),�

    �The story of Chinese monetary sterilization (http://www.livemint.com/2010/ 12/20215815/The-story-of-Chinese-monetary.html),�
    �Chinese banks scaling back loans to ship owners, yards (http://www.businesstimes.com.sg/sub/shippingtimes/story/0,4574,417590- 1292443140,00.html?),� December 15, 2010,





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  • Refugee_New
    01-06 02:32 PM
    Yes, they definitely have...Hamas should stop using school kids as human shield before complaining. Heres link for you - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elyXQ6g-TJs

    Gaza is a small town where more than 1.5 million people live there. Hamas is part and parcel of Gaza because they are elected by palestinian people and wherever they go, its full of people. Its a small land with crowded people. Gaza is like a crowded market.

    Again you are trying to justify the killing of innocent school kids and civilian. This is a big LIE constantly told by media to cover up the massacre. This is part of their divide and rule strategy. This Lie is something similar to WMD claim.

    Do you think Indian police will bomb the crowded street in order to kill a theif, then blame the theif that he is hiding behind civilian?



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  • prioritydate
    09-27 06:55 PM
    I wish Mc Cain to win this election. Republican party is good to India, pro-life, do not waste money and support same sex domestic partners. Their moral and cultural values are good. They do not increase taxes. Good for Industry.
    I will support the party not the candidates. They are good for the security for the country. Terrorist are increased in all over the world. But no more attack on American soil. Clinton ignored the security of the country and we saw what happened. That time IT revolution happened. Not because of him the economic bubble occured. But it will happen, if any body is in power that time.

    Do you what you are talking about? One more term for GOP is a disaster. McCain would do nothing but spending more money on Iraq. There is no policy for John McCain. His only aim to continue Iraq war for 4 more years, and if possible, another four more years. They DON'T support same sex marriages. Remember! they are conservatives for God's sake. Republican party is good for oil companies and big corporates. For normal people like us, and specially for an immigration community, it would be an irreversible damage.





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  • cygent
    06-25 08:17 PM
    Just as an example, this may be an anomaly, but I know this Australian Indian citizen, who has recently bought 2 houses in the LA Valley and is having no issues filling them with contractors so far (1 my friend), even in this economy. He works on SAP projects traveling on H1 , but is in Aussie land most of the time, with his family. The rent more than pays off his mortgage.

    to buy another house (if it is not distress property / from auction) just to put it on rent is stupidity ..risk is good if it is calculated ..to take foolish risk is foolishness ..anyway that is me. In this Country land is virtually unlimited !!! demand is low (see immigration ..they give majority GC's to people when they are 50 - 60 years old) and those who are young have smaller families because of high cost of living, way of living.
    to buy a house to put it on rent is big loss as there are millions of houses already competing for renters
    ONE more reason for those who are on H1/ EAD is that 90% of then job postings on DICE and other places ask for only citizens or GC holders.



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  • hiralal
    06-23 11:30 PM
    good point by suavesundeep...the problem for many desis / Immigrants is that they fall prey to all the marketing gimmicks and tricks by realtors (for e.g ..renting is throwing money away ..in reality it is not because of the flexibility esp for those on visa and the fact that you get a place to live at affordable price ..plus you can invest the remainder and get higher returns )..also, many lose sight of the fact that land is precious and pricey in India and the reason for that is the huge demand from young population and relative boom in economy ..while in US, supply is HUGE and demand is low ..here is an example ..people (and mostly desis) in Atlanta keep on saying that Atlanta is not affected, the prices never increased much, no bubble etc ..but see this small report and you will understand that supply is huge. 40 years supply !!!
    -----------
    ATLANTA -- A one-mile stretch of Atlanta's upscale Buckhead neighborhood shows why commercial real estate is emerging as an obstacle to pulling the U.S. economy out of recession.

    Separate developers in Buckhead are building four speculative office buildings at the same time with virtually no leasing activity. The 35 recent condominium projects will help give Atlanta a 40-year supply at the current sales pace. A $600 million outdoor shopping mall under way has suspended construction to save money.

    The glut threatens to worsen the clobbering that many U.S. banks already are getting from nonperforming loans made to owners and developers





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  • pappu
    08-11 08:46 AM
    http://www.flcdatacenter.com/CaseH1B.aspx

    maybe we can do an official press release showing how dumb these people are. as far as i know all this information can be downloaded directly from the flc datacenter. we need to start writing op eds against people like lou dobbs who keep skewing the debate
    great find yabadaba. Thanks. I have sent this link to someone who can do some data analysis in our favor. However we are looking for EB GC data.

    do you/anyone know of any data sources for EB greencard applications on USCIS site/someone has already done stat research based on uscis data? We would be able to get independent analysis of that data by experts to our advantage. This analysis can be used by media when they interview us and also can be given to lawmakers to win their favor. you can PM me or post any such information on this forum and I can send it to experts I know.



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  • manub
    07-07 10:19 PM
    This is what I found in my research so far.
    "Any out of status is ERASED after re-entry in the USA. For employment related I-485 application, out of status is counted ONLY after last entry and out of status upto 180 days is forgiven under section 245(k). Section 245(k) applies to ALL employment based I-485."

    Section 245(k) is the BIGGEST difference between employment based I-485 and family based I-485
    but I couldn`t find more about section 245 .I searched USCIS site.I don`t know what will get through the officer`s head.





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  • panky72
    08-06 03:17 PM
    A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

    'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

    'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

    The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

    To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know S-H-I-T?:D





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  • texcan
    08-05 02:25 PM
    You can't generalize everything. Do you care to show how this is as bad as labor substitution ?
    How about comparing the actual job duties of all EB2s and EB3s ? Not just what their lawyer says.

    Rules are made with good intentions and it is people that misuse them. But for the desi sweat shops selling labors , even the labor substitution has some merits in some cases (Again Not all).

    Again , I don't really care what happens with this law suite (even if that happens). Just wanted to impress that there are very good number of legitimate cases where the PD porting makes sense and it is required.

    Friend,

    Your questions are valid and great arguments.
    Do i care to answer them all, no. But since we are talking and not fighting, yes i will take some time to provide my input.
    Thankyou for asking my input nicely, i like to belong to a group of educated and people who wear a head on their shoulders.

    Now a days its in fashion to go to school and call oneself educated, which to me this is as absurd as buying a piano and calling one self musician. This is my version of an old saying (trying a little bit).

    Again thanks for your politeness, and showing brotherhood.

    Here is my input.


    you asked - You can't generalize everything. Do you care to show how this is as bad as labor substitution ?


    My 2 cents:
    It was bad because many people were selling labor certificates. I know people who bought them for 10K, and got in green card line and well ahead in line than me and probably you ( we both are on the group today).

    you said: How about Comparing job duties of all EB2s and EB3s
    My 2 cents: why, what will this give you , other than some unrest and one more fight/arguments.

    you said: Rules are made with good intentions and it is people that misuse them. But for the desi sweat shops selling labors , even the labor substitution has some merits in some cases (Again Not all).

    My 2 cents: Yes i agree. This lawsuit idea is also to stop unjust practice, with good intentions and not all.

    you said: Again , I don't really care what happens with this law suite (even if that happens). Just wanted to impress that there are very good number of legitimate cases where the PD porting makes sense and it is required.
    My 2 cents:
    you are right there are cases where porting makes sense, but you cant claim the same on all cases. There are cases where this practice is unjust and breaking the line.
    Why do peole always port in favor of date/time to get faster green card. If porting is so justified ( job duties) how come no one ports to a category that is too late than one they are in.


    Most importantly, you cant push people around, just be nice to people. Please.

    I stand with you in this fight, but remember you stand with me too, and we stand together
    to make a point for all.





    wellwishergc
    07-11 11:27 AM
    Is your GC approved now?





    bkarnik
    08-05 05:45 PM
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Print this out and pass to your partner for a greater understanding:

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

    2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

    3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

    4. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

    5. Crying is blackmail.

    6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    7. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

    8. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.See a doctor.

    12. Check your oil! Please.

    13. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

    15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

    16. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    17. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    18. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

    19. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.

    20. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    21. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

    22. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,but it is just not worth the hassle.

    23. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    24. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

    25. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    26. You have enough clothes.

    27. You have too many shoes.

    28. No you really do have too many clothes and shoes.

    29. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

    30. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.

    31. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.



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